I promise that this is my last super serious post for a while...but every now and again I have things I wrestle with...and some are just important enough to share....
Blessings:
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?
And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?
When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can't satisfy?
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?
Credits :
songwriters: story, laura mixon
© new spring publishing;new spring publishing
what an amazing way to look at trials, the long road that we have ahead of us in our journey. I think sometimes to where I would be without the trials in my life. Some have moved me away from God and then brought me back even closer..others have just pushed me to Cling to Christ.
I have had a song that I have clung too for each little step of our journey. Recently this is the one I am clung too. I think about all that i have gone through in my 33 years of life. I think about where I would be with out my Father in Heaven. Alot of the trials have taught me huge life lessons, but mostly I think about the spiritual side. I have learned so much about my father through the trials. I find myself thanking God for the trials some days, cuz without them would I be on the same walk I am with Him today or would my focus be way off track.
the words that stick out to me most recently
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can't satisfy?
what if it is just to make us want the new world more....what if it is to have us desire to know Christ even more....what if all that we go through is just the Lord being merciful to us and helping us to cling to what is really worth clinging too. Reminding our hearts and minds that this is NOT OUR HOME!
I have never thought of trials this way....I have never thought of the betrayals and the struggles in the light of it being God's way of teaching me not to get comfortable with something that is not His best for me. Instead thinking of it as His way of making us hunger for our true Home with Him.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Hi everyone...I know we have been absent for a long time...we are going to change that a little. it is hard to keep up with life, facebook, a blog, a caringbridge page and all the new found hobbies that we all have going on around here. Seriously, I thought adding child was the problem...nope not really cuz that is almost a year ago...and she is really not the issue. hang with me folks, cuz I am sitting here by myself in a quiet house...and YES I am choosing to write this in my free time...YEPPERS it is that important to me.
I am still wheeling from our message at church yesterday. Ever have those...Well yesterday was a doosy...we were digging into the place in where Jesus calls out the pharasees' for putting their traditions before worshiping God and following him (Mark 7) If I was a good blogger I would go find it for you and post it so you knew exactly what I was talking about...but come on...if you are really interested I want you to dig out your bible. ok...here it is:
Jesus replied, “You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote,
‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
7 Their worship is a farce,
for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’[d]
8 For you ignore God’s law and substitute your own tradition.”
(don't worry you are going to want your bible...you are going to want to mark this part:
Then He goes on to talk about our hearts:
Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “All of you listen,” he said, “and try to understand. 15 It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.[h]”
17 Then Jesus went into a house to get away from the crowd, and his disciples asked him what he meant by the parable he had just used. 18 “Don’t you understand either?” he asked. “Can’t you see that the food you put into your body cannot defile you? 19 Food doesn’t go into your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer.” (By saying this, he declared that every kind of food is acceptable in God’s eyes.)
20 And then he added, “It is what comes from inside that defiles you. 21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”
I know that in my life when things are not going my way, or I am being challenged by something it is so easy to fall into these things that defile you. Don't worry, I have not committed murder, or slept with another man other than my husband. Crazy though that those are the frist things to come to mind like they are in someway worse than the ones that follow. When in fact the ones that follow really do more harm to the body of Christ. I thought about how easy it is to talk about a situation to a friend about another friend. most of the time I say I am just getting advice...or correct me if I am crazy, but this isn't right is it. That in all ways is Slander. I can't tell you how many times i have walked into someone's home or looked at someone and been envious of something they have. I also know that I lust after things...no not other men...things! Especially when I want to finish a project I have started or I feel, let me repeat that I FEEL we need it. These things get in the way of God if they are taking up your thought process obsessively. I know they get in the way of what God is teaching me.
I also thought how healthy the church would be if we all confessed these things and then forgave each other they way God calls us too. I know you are all thinking I am crazy, but seriously if we really forgave and didn't hold a grudge, there would be no fear of confession. In my world I fear confessing things I have done, because of the judgement of man, not the fear of God. I have made the stupidest mistakes already and God accepted me back. It is the people of God who have taught me that they are not always as forgiving. Me included....I have a very hard time forgiving people when i have felt taken advantage of. I also have a very hard time trusting them again. but this damage can never be restored unless their is full forgiveness. Unfortunately when others move forward and don't feel the same damage from a situation this can be hard to accomplish. So we need to do our part and leave the rest up to God.
Someone also brought up Paul calling to not associate with people like this. I agree with this in the case of unrepentant sinners...but someone needs to love on even the unrepentive sinner. Everyone can't abandon them, or where will we find them. Yep that is right. We will find them accepting something else, another belief that will lead them to a different place and not to the best place....HEAVEN! Sometimes I have been accused of being to Gracious. I have been accused of hanging with the wrong crowd. I have been accused of sticking up for someone with a different belief. I am ok with this...keep accusing me...I believe that my relationship with them will have far more power that anyone spitting out scripture at them. I know it was that way for me!! Thank you to all those people that didn't cast me out when I was letting sin control my life, instead you were loving and gracious and stuck by me.
I was challenged by how many of us, myself included, participate...and if not participate say nothing to our friends as they speak about others, as they knowingly write off too many things on their taxes, as they are envious or others and things, and as we watch people be greedy or we are greedy ourselves. I know it might sting at the beginning but I would much rather be called out than continue to be buried in this negativity. What a great safe place the body of Christ would be to reside!
I am challenged by this message and what a great time to focus on it. We are entering a week of reflection. A time to remember the sacrifice and the gift that was given to us, to celebrate the person who was not afraid to go against the norm, to speak out when His words were not going to be recieved well, and was always willing to have lunch with someone who had done something horrible without judgement.
I know...not something any of us want to hear....but really think about how much safer of a place it would be to reside. also this is what God will be looking at when we enter heaven: Not how much we did, but how much we learned to become more like him. How many of us don't want to hear: Well done good a faithful servant. I know I do and my actions are not dersearving in the last few months.
I am still wheeling from our message at church yesterday. Ever have those...Well yesterday was a doosy...we were digging into the place in where Jesus calls out the pharasees' for putting their traditions before worshiping God and following him (Mark 7) If I was a good blogger I would go find it for you and post it so you knew exactly what I was talking about...but come on...if you are really interested I want you to dig out your bible. ok...here it is:
Jesus replied, “You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote,
‘These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
7 Their worship is a farce,
for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’[d]
8 For you ignore God’s law and substitute your own tradition.”
(don't worry you are going to want your bible...you are going to want to mark this part:
Then He goes on to talk about our hearts:
Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “All of you listen,” he said, “and try to understand. 15 It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.[h]”
17 Then Jesus went into a house to get away from the crowd, and his disciples asked him what he meant by the parable he had just used. 18 “Don’t you understand either?” he asked. “Can’t you see that the food you put into your body cannot defile you? 19 Food doesn’t go into your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer.” (By saying this, he declared that every kind of food is acceptable in God’s eyes.)
20 And then he added, “It is what comes from inside that defiles you. 21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”
I know that in my life when things are not going my way, or I am being challenged by something it is so easy to fall into these things that defile you. Don't worry, I have not committed murder, or slept with another man other than my husband. Crazy though that those are the frist things to come to mind like they are in someway worse than the ones that follow. When in fact the ones that follow really do more harm to the body of Christ. I thought about how easy it is to talk about a situation to a friend about another friend. most of the time I say I am just getting advice...or correct me if I am crazy, but this isn't right is it. That in all ways is Slander. I can't tell you how many times i have walked into someone's home or looked at someone and been envious of something they have. I also know that I lust after things...no not other men...things! Especially when I want to finish a project I have started or I feel, let me repeat that I FEEL we need it. These things get in the way of God if they are taking up your thought process obsessively. I know they get in the way of what God is teaching me.
I also thought how healthy the church would be if we all confessed these things and then forgave each other they way God calls us too. I know you are all thinking I am crazy, but seriously if we really forgave and didn't hold a grudge, there would be no fear of confession. In my world I fear confessing things I have done, because of the judgement of man, not the fear of God. I have made the stupidest mistakes already and God accepted me back. It is the people of God who have taught me that they are not always as forgiving. Me included....I have a very hard time forgiving people when i have felt taken advantage of. I also have a very hard time trusting them again. but this damage can never be restored unless their is full forgiveness. Unfortunately when others move forward and don't feel the same damage from a situation this can be hard to accomplish. So we need to do our part and leave the rest up to God.
Someone also brought up Paul calling to not associate with people like this. I agree with this in the case of unrepentant sinners...but someone needs to love on even the unrepentive sinner. Everyone can't abandon them, or where will we find them. Yep that is right. We will find them accepting something else, another belief that will lead them to a different place and not to the best place....HEAVEN! Sometimes I have been accused of being to Gracious. I have been accused of hanging with the wrong crowd. I have been accused of sticking up for someone with a different belief. I am ok with this...keep accusing me...I believe that my relationship with them will have far more power that anyone spitting out scripture at them. I know it was that way for me!! Thank you to all those people that didn't cast me out when I was letting sin control my life, instead you were loving and gracious and stuck by me.
I was challenged by how many of us, myself included, participate...and if not participate say nothing to our friends as they speak about others, as they knowingly write off too many things on their taxes, as they are envious or others and things, and as we watch people be greedy or we are greedy ourselves. I know it might sting at the beginning but I would much rather be called out than continue to be buried in this negativity. What a great safe place the body of Christ would be to reside!
I am challenged by this message and what a great time to focus on it. We are entering a week of reflection. A time to remember the sacrifice and the gift that was given to us, to celebrate the person who was not afraid to go against the norm, to speak out when His words were not going to be recieved well, and was always willing to have lunch with someone who had done something horrible without judgement.
I know...not something any of us want to hear....but really think about how much safer of a place it would be to reside. also this is what God will be looking at when we enter heaven: Not how much we did, but how much we learned to become more like him. How many of us don't want to hear: Well done good a faithful servant. I know I do and my actions are not dersearving in the last few months.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
on busy season that flies by so quickly.....
Christmas with four children 3 and under is definitely different than what it was with newborns or even just with adults. They add such a different feel and the time together really becomes all about them. As I have shared earlier and on Jackson's caringbridge site...he was so excited to give others their presents before the holidays. He could hardly wait. However I have to say, once he learned that he got presents from people the joy of giving to others slightly was minimized and the joy of receiving became a much bigger priority. All in all he did great...even when his sister tried to steal his present.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Christmas preparation. We have finally gotten our systems rebooted around here and I think we are on the mend. We will see what the traveling gets us. Usually we come back with one of us at least not feeling well.
We have been doing lots this year to get prepared for christmas. It has been so different this year having two little ones who want to help and be a part of everything. When I say different, sometimes that is good different and sometimes it, well just takes alot longer. Which I guess isnt' a bad thing.
The other day Jackson and I wrapped presents. He helped hold the paper and then he carried all the no breakable presents to the tree. He was so cute....he got so excited when he found out who each gift was for. It is great that he hasn't asked one time, if there are presents under the tree for him...he is much more excited about the ones he is giving to others. Trust me this is not something that he got honestly from his mama...I was always curious about which present was for me.... My mom usually had to hide the presents and wrap them just before...because we were to nosey. The hunt was always so much fun.
We recieved a gingerbread house from one of Jackson's doctors at Riley. WE are keeping it in the garage until next week when we are going to put it together...everytime he sees it...he gets all sweet and says: mama, my gingerbread house, awe. He is so stinking funny sometimes. I think I am mainly waiting for a time with some help. I can't imagine...frosting, trying not to break pieces and an 18 month old weapon of mass destruction running around that = wait for a weekend with Daddy.
I gotta say all in all this year has been the best so far with Christmas preparations...it has been fun having the kids participate in things and get so excited about everything: the tree, santa, singing happy birthday to Jesus, singing christmas songs, watching christmas movies and making lefsa with Nana Corrine. There is not one thing that has topped anything else...but it has been a joy watching the two of them enjoy the season with us. WE are So BLESSED!!!
We have been doing lots this year to get prepared for christmas. It has been so different this year having two little ones who want to help and be a part of everything. When I say different, sometimes that is good different and sometimes it, well just takes alot longer. Which I guess isnt' a bad thing.
The other day Jackson and I wrapped presents. He helped hold the paper and then he carried all the no breakable presents to the tree. He was so cute....he got so excited when he found out who each gift was for. It is great that he hasn't asked one time, if there are presents under the tree for him...he is much more excited about the ones he is giving to others. Trust me this is not something that he got honestly from his mama...I was always curious about which present was for me.... My mom usually had to hide the presents and wrap them just before...because we were to nosey. The hunt was always so much fun.
We recieved a gingerbread house from one of Jackson's doctors at Riley. WE are keeping it in the garage until next week when we are going to put it together...everytime he sees it...he gets all sweet and says: mama, my gingerbread house, awe. He is so stinking funny sometimes. I think I am mainly waiting for a time with some help. I can't imagine...frosting, trying not to break pieces and an 18 month old weapon of mass destruction running around that = wait for a weekend with Daddy.
I gotta say all in all this year has been the best so far with Christmas preparations...it has been fun having the kids participate in things and get so excited about everything: the tree, santa, singing happy birthday to Jesus, singing christmas songs, watching christmas movies and making lefsa with Nana Corrine. There is not one thing that has topped anything else...but it has been a joy watching the two of them enjoy the season with us. WE are So BLESSED!!!
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
A big week.....
This week started with news of Grandpa Cross' passing. He was a very humble man. He loved his family and would do anything for them. I am blessed to have met him. Jackson was named after him. I have always wanted a name continued through my kids middle names. Even though we have been harassed by many do to its similarity to Jack Daniels, I am glad we chose Daniel, when we were naming Jackson. I spoke with a young woman in the nursery during the funeral on Tuesday. She was a member of their church and sat near them on Sunday mornings. She didn't even now Grandpa as personally as those of us in his family, however his kind heart shown through to her, just in the way he handled himself sitting next to her and her family. She said he never got upset even when her kids were loud. My response was that he probably enjoyed it more than it bothered him. We took the kids with to the funeral, we spent most of our time in the nursery, however we took them out to the grave site mainly for Avenlea to get a nap as we drove. Jackson and I were talking as we waited for Adrian to return to the car. We were talking about how Grandpa was sledding with Jesus in heaven in all the great snow. He then asked where Daddy was and I said he was in that big green tent saying Goodbye to Grandpa. Jackson responded: Jesus is there too. Some days I am sure this kid is connected in such a powerful way with our Lord and Savior. I am certainly Glad Jackson has another Guardian Angel in heaven. This holiday season will be a bit tougher not having Grandpa smiling at us and playing games with us, but we know he is in a much better place and God's timing is just right.
During this weeks events, we were also all taken down with the stomach flu. It was a great reminder to me that Jackson's immune system just isn't what everyone else's is. All the rest of us have been hit for about 12-24 hours. Jackson has been down for the count for about over 48 hours. He has been able to continue drinking through this one and tylenol seems to give him some relief, but it reminds me how fragile he really is. Sometimes I get annoyed when our plans have to change due to him or someone in the home we are going to getting sick, but It is for his good. I need to remind myself of this when I am being scoffed at by people who just don't get what we are doing when we hunker in during the flu season. But I am reminded this week how fragile life is and how much we need to take advantage of the time we have, living a life that is speaking to those around us with our actions. I guess if I go out being someone who overly protected her family, I am ok with that.
Thank you Grandpa Cross for the incredible life you lived and I feel greatly blessed to have been able to be a part of your family for the last 6 1/2 years.
During this weeks events, we were also all taken down with the stomach flu. It was a great reminder to me that Jackson's immune system just isn't what everyone else's is. All the rest of us have been hit for about 12-24 hours. Jackson has been down for the count for about over 48 hours. He has been able to continue drinking through this one and tylenol seems to give him some relief, but it reminds me how fragile he really is. Sometimes I get annoyed when our plans have to change due to him or someone in the home we are going to getting sick, but It is for his good. I need to remind myself of this when I am being scoffed at by people who just don't get what we are doing when we hunker in during the flu season. But I am reminded this week how fragile life is and how much we need to take advantage of the time we have, living a life that is speaking to those around us with our actions. I guess if I go out being someone who overly protected her family, I am ok with that.
Thank you Grandpa Cross for the incredible life you lived and I feel greatly blessed to have been able to be a part of your family for the last 6 1/2 years.
christmas 2010
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Thursday, December 02, 2010
Happy 18 months Sweet Avenlea!!
Happy 18 months Baby Girl!!!! Wow how time does fly. This saturday marks Avenlea's 18 month birthday. She is such a different kid that Jackson. I can't even tell you. IF I had one word to describe her: SPUNKY. There is never a dull moment in our lives since she entered the our world. I love every minute of it. Even on the rough days I can usually find some funny moments in our day.
She is very curious about everything. She loves to explore and has to do everything herself. ON her own without any help. Her funniest thing to do by herself is walk up the steps. It is so funny. Most of the time she tries to take the steps like an adult alternating her steps with each foot. if we are not bracing her from behind she would fall straight backwards. She would be a great model for a V8 commercial. Her feet get so far ahead of the rest of her. Anyway the independence is great and a struggle at the same time. LIke I said she loves to explore. This also means their has been about a hundred percent increase in the mischief and discipline around here too.
We have started with time outs and they are surprisingly going really well. as long as you don't get too far away from her. This was actually quite funny. These are all the typical things that I have seen other kids do but they are new to this house.
I gotta say this is cute. most of the things she does are cute...just don't tell her. My friend Laura said to me today that she is too cute to be a trouble maker...that is exactly what is going to keep her in the trouble maker world. Everyone is going to let her get away with it, because she is cute. So far this mama is immune for now.
She is jibberjabbing as well. THere are some words , more, ma, dada, grandma even came out today. But the funniest part is the jibberjabbering actually sounds like a conversation. The intonations go up and down and she waits for me to reply. Sometimes I try, but to be honest...most of the time I have no idea what she is trying to tell me. She also can tell you what a couple different animals say. My favs are the puppy and the lion. When it comes to toys. She is still into carrying everything around, but for the most part her favorite toy is whatever her brother is trying to play with or her kitchen. She loves slamming the doors and dumping all the dishes out on the floor. (she does very well helping to clean up too). They are so cute when they sit and read books and play together. it is moments like these that make me happy they are close in age.
She is taller than Jackson now and weighs a bit more too, however she is still in her 12-24 month clothing range. She just seems to be getting taller and thinner. She is cutting two molars which has caused some drastic changes in eating habits. So much so that they did some blood work on her last month to make sure everything was ok. she was drinking over 64 ounces of milk, juice and water and pretty much not eating anything through out the day. But we are happy to report all is well. She has started to eat things again and still drinks on the high side...but we have made the move to a little additional water...which doesn't taste as good so she doesn't drink as much.
She has started hiding and she usually has her pants filled when she comes back out, so we have started working a little on potty training. THe other day we found her banging on the bathroom door and then a diaper filled with poop. I think she might have been trying to tell us something. This mama is in a new world so we will see how this goes. the ease of no public restrooms is going to soon be in our past. SCARY!!!
I hope you all enjoy the holiday's!!! hopefully we find my camera soon so we can share ours with you.
She is jibberjabbing as well. THere are some words , more, ma, dada, grandma even came out today. But the funniest part is the jibberjabbering actually sounds like a conversation. The intonations go up and down and she waits for me to reply. Sometimes I try, but to be honest...most of the time I have no idea what she is trying to tell me. She also can tell you what a couple different animals say. My favs are the puppy and the lion. When it comes to toys. She is still into carrying everything around, but for the most part her favorite toy is whatever her brother is trying to play with or her kitchen. She loves slamming the doors and dumping all the dishes out on the floor. (she does very well helping to clean up too). They are so cute when they sit and read books and play together. it is moments like these that make me happy they are close in age.
She is taller than Jackson now and weighs a bit more too, however she is still in her 12-24 month clothing range. She just seems to be getting taller and thinner. She is cutting two molars which has caused some drastic changes in eating habits. So much so that they did some blood work on her last month to make sure everything was ok. she was drinking over 64 ounces of milk, juice and water and pretty much not eating anything through out the day. But we are happy to report all is well. She has started to eat things again and still drinks on the high side...but we have made the move to a little additional water...which doesn't taste as good so she doesn't drink as much.
She has started hiding and she usually has her pants filled when she comes back out, so we have started working a little on potty training. THe other day we found her banging on the bathroom door and then a diaper filled with poop. I think she might have been trying to tell us something. This mama is in a new world so we will see how this goes. the ease of no public restrooms is going to soon be in our past. SCARY!!!
I hope you all enjoy the holiday's!!! hopefully we find my camera soon so we can share ours with you.
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