troubling week....

on the bad side it is 6 in the morning and I can't sleep after getting up with Jackson. I am thinking I have to have him up and fed by 7:30 anyway so why not spend a little time myself. I have spent some time lately with God. I have been pondering a lot of things and have been feeling so overwhelmed. Therapy with Jackson is now up to 4 times a week. it was a little overwhelming but now that he is in the cast it is nice to have four different people come entertain him for an hour. Gloria, my mother in law has given me some needed time away the past couple of Thursdays and I have had wonderful friends come and hang out as well. As great as all this has been I still find myself in a rutt. I start counting the minutes once 4 o'clock rolls around until Adrian will be home from work and I just wish I could cuddle with my baby again when he is upset. we do our best it just isn't the same. Yesterday we reached two weeks down and only four more to go. We schduled the day so we have a date to look forward to. Friday the 5th at 8 am.

I gotta tell you I can't wait for this day. To have my happy baby back. Don't get me wrong he has been doing amazingly well in the cast. But to have this kid back....


the one that smiled and played peak a boo at the end of the couch ten times a day. the one that was constantly getting in to Macy's food and water, started to stand by himself and babbling out the window at random passerby's. It saddens me to think that all winter we will be cooped up inside trying not to get a cast wet and not seeing this little boy for a while. He smiled and played peekaboo on my shoulder last night and it brought such a huge smile to my face. It was a brief moment of happiness in our very sad day yesterday. I am not sure what is wrong but we are not happy, not sleeping and incredibly uncomfortble. All things that I am sure are normal....I just have to figure out how to console him and make him as comfortable as possible.

Some on reminded me the other day of the bible verse 1 peter 1:6-7.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

God is good, he is in control and it always helps when we have good friends that remind us frequently that we are not in this alone. We will be ok. it has just been a hard week. And we have to share with you the good and the bad right. Please pray, Jackson started digging at his right ear last night even though he is already on antibiotics for his left ear.